Review: MINIATURES – The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi

If short stories can sometimes be a difficult medium, because the compressed space they must be worked in often leaves the reader unsatisfied with the way characters and narrative are developed, this collection of very short works from John Scalzi enjoys a different track record: the humorous nature of these stories lends itself quite easily to brevity and they feel more like well-developed jokes than anything else, or like some of the witty posts with which the author delights his blog’s readers.

So here you will find, for example, a mock interview with a very peeved Pluto, whose demotion from the status of planet still burns deeply, despite the abysmal cold in the fringes of our Solar System: the annoyed ex-planet takes this opportunity to vent some of its displeasure toward some old and new adversaries, the scientific community at large and – quite inexplicably – Phil Collins. Just to give you an idea of the tone of these stories, here is a quote directly from the ex-planet:

[…] people start calling me and telling me I’m the newest planet. And I remember saying, I don’t know if I want that responsibility. And they said, well, you can’t not be a planet now, Walt Disney’s already named a character after you.  That’s really what made a planet. Not the astronomers, but that cartoon dog.

Or we can read the advertisement for a very special travel agency that can send its customers into alternate universes, offering various possible scenarios about a certain event: the example used is the death of Adolf Hitler, and despite the far-from-palatable subject, Mr. Scalzi manages to make you laugh out loud with his vision of alternate futures.  My favorite is the one where the time-frame alteration keeps sending the city of Vienna back and back into the past, transforming it into a battleground for competing armies, until

[…] when the time traveling pro-Magyar forces show up, they are slaughtered by everyone else which is tired of all this time-traveling crap, thereby ending the causality loop.

Or again we are treated to a collection of hilariously crazy tweets the author posted to ease his boredom during a long flight, imagining the assault on the plane’s wing operated by a gremlin bent on plunging the vehicle down to earth.  If you don’t think this could be funny (especially in the case of people who are not comfortable with flight), reading this brief piece will make you change your mind.

Each story is prefaced by a few words about its inception and history, and all of them are accompanied by little drawings that complement the story to perfection.  If you want to spend a couple of light-hearted hours in the company of a favorite author, or if you want to discover John Scalzi’s peculiar brand of humor, this is the perfect place to start.

My Rating:

TOP FIVE WEDNESDAY #10

This GoodReads group proposes a weekly meme whose aim is to give a list of Top Five… anything, as long as they are book related.  This week’s theme is:

INACCURATE COVERS

Those books that have nothing to do with the story, or the cover model doesn’t look anything like the actual main character, or it’s a really cheesy cover for a great read!

To say the truth, none of the covers of the books I’ve read in the past few years were really misleading: when I went to check on my GoodReads library, I could not find any that would fit this week’s theme.  So I decided to do a little search for the covers of pulp magazines from a few decades back and there I found exactly what I was looking for.

In those times, garish covers were the accepted norm: monsters from outer space, outlandish aliens and extra-terrestrial landscapes, spaceships of every size and shape – you name it, they had it.

There was one common factor though: the women depicted on those covers were all scantily clad, exotic-looking and either terrorized victims of some evil-doer or being rescued by the muscled hero. And probably had nothing to do with the stories listed in the magazine.   Here are the Top Five that came out of my search:

In the first one, we see the lady on the cover being pursued by some bad guy and/or alien (he’s bald, and back then most aliens were bald…): they must be hovering in space, and both of their heads are enclosed by a bubble helmet, but while the man is wearing a space suit, the woman sports something close to a bathing suit, with a very, very deep neckline.  In vacuum…

In the second cover, our designated victim is stalked by a spidery-looking alien and looking suitably frightened – but no fear! The hero is just around the corner, ready to save her!  And once again, the man is in full EVA suit, while the woman wears a golden bikini. With matching shoes.  After all, you can’t give up on fashion, even in the direst of circumstances!

Third cover – more of the same, with a slight variation: the woman is unconscious, probably terrified by the big-toothed, long-nailed (and bald!!) monster in the background.  Thankfully the hero is carrying her away to safety.  As if we could ever doubt it!

With cover nr. 4 there is a change: in this case the lady is armed and deadly – in the picture she seems to have just stunned or killed the “big bad alien” (he’s green AND bald, to offer some variety, no doubt).  The woman’s weapon is still smoking (do energy weapons smoke at all?) and she looks quite resolute – yes, in her space bathing suit, complete with bubble helmet and spiked epaulettes. Oh, and gloves…

And finally, at nr. 5, another ass-kicking lady, swinging an axe against a many-tentacled monster, while the guy in the background seems to have some trouble defending himself.  The woman is wearing a full-body suit this time, but it seems painted on her, and the conical cups for the breasts look decidedly uncomfortable!

What’s worse, is that there are still some genres where covers with scantily clad people appear in absurd poses: that’s the reason why writers like John Scalzi and Jim C. Hines decided, some time ago, to poke some fun at those covers, while supporting a charitable foundation.  As a “bonus” for this week’s theme, here are both the original cover and the… portrayal by Scalzi (on the right) and Hines (on the left), but you can find more by following the links in this IO9 article. Have fun!

                  

Review: GIOVANNI GOES TO MED SCHOOL, by Kathy Bryson

I received this story from the author in exchange for an honest review.

When Ms. Bryson contacted me about reading and reviewing this novella, I was intrigued by the strange mix of themes offered by the story: humor and zombies. Many would say that there’s very little to laugh about the walking dead, so I was more than curious to see how one of the staples of the horror genre – one that’s very much in fashion nowadays – would fare on a more light-hearted setting.

Giovanni is a young medical student in search of a part-time occupation to shore up his income, as many in his position are pressed to do, and what he ultimately finds is a night shift duty post at the hospital morgue. Our main character is a good, sensitive guy, and his worry in tackling that kind of job is more than understandable – moreover, he probably saw a good deal of B-movies that have done nothing to encourage him, especially since he keeps thinking about his family’s “loving” advice about his choice of career, one that sets both the mood of this story and makes us better understand Giovanni’s mind-frame:

The rest of their family was supportive though (…) They were all supportive. They all told him how proud they were he had gotten into med school, and how hard he’d have to study, how broke he’d be, how he couldn’t date, how he’d have no social life until he graduated, how he’d suffer through residency, and how he’d probably just get fat, grow old, and die alone.

No one could blame the guy for being just a tiny bit apprehensive…

On his very first night on the job, Giovanni must accept custody of the body of an elderly lady that passed away despite the efforts of the medical team upstairs, and even before that happened, he’s been also entrusted with the care of of said lady’s huge, slobbering dog. When in the night Mrs. Harris’ body gets up and starts walking and talking, poor Giovanni’s nightmare is only just beginning.

You will not find flesh-eating zombies here, but just an old lady who seems unable to accept her demise, and this will propel Giovanni on a very strange, mind-bending journey that seems only the first step in a longer one – at least according to what a voodoo-expert hospital orderly tells him: that Mrs. Harris’ case is not an isolated one.

Oddly humorous, filled with comedy-of-errors scenes, this short story is a quick, entertaining read that will give you a new outlook on the whole zombie scenario. And will also teach you how to deal with big dogs suffering from excess salivation. Maybe.

 

My Rating:

Review: MADE TO KILL, by Adam Christopher

Made to Kill is the perfect example for the warning about not judging a book by its cover: although being aware of its existence, I never looked beyond the unappealing (for me) exterior appearance of the book, to inquire what it was about. That is, until the very positive review from a fellow blogger, whose comments piqued my interest.

This book is a curious mix between a classic noir novel and science fiction: Raymond Electromatic (the first name a clear nod toward Raymond Chandler) is a robot, the only one remaining after humanity decided to dispense with mechanical helpers, and he’s a self-employed private investigator – with a side activity as a hired killer. No one could image a more dispassionate, detached murderer than a mechanical creature, and Raymond fulfills this requirement most admirably, also thanks to his peculiar structure, one that requires a daily power recharge and the installation of a new memory spool. This 24-hour limit on Raymond’s storage capacity means he starts afresh every day as a new man – ok, robot – with no recollection of what previously transpired: no guilt, no danger of exposing one’s clients, plausible deniability.

Here is where Ray’s manager comes into play: Ada is a complex computer array tasked with running the office, taking care of the mechanical P.I., finding clients and managing finances. She is quite a character, and another nod toward the chandler-esque typical perky secretary acting as a buffer between her employer and the public. Apart from the human-like noises she emits – mostly puffing on cigarettes or swiveling on creaky office chairs – she’s graced by a quirky sense of humor and a sharp tongue, not to mention a keen business sense that is never clouded by emotional considerations of any kind.  Ada’s voice came through from the book’s pages much more clearly than Raymond’s for me: I enjoyed quite a bit her world-savvy practical approach to everything and the way she manipulates Ray who appears like very pliable putty in her capable hands, or circuits if you want.

The two move in a world that, despite some technological developments like robots, seems still very much anchored in the period between the ‘40s and the ‘50s – or at least this is the “flavor” I perceived from the book, that shares many of the tropes one could expect from a noir story from Chandler himself: dark ladies and shady characters move around in a Los Angeles still very much concerned with the Hollywood star system, and there’s a dastardly plot to be uncovered and neutralized, as Raymond runs through the city in search for clues.  Spies, night-clubs where dubious dealings go on while the music plays and alcohol flows, government agents and undercover operatives – they all make an appearance while Raymond applies his deductive skills to the complicated situation, and the whole scenario makes for a fast, entertaining reading.

My initial enthusiasm for this uncommon story did however flag a little past the book’s midpoint: while my interest remained the same about the story – after all I wanted to know what was behind it all and how the various threads would be resolved – the characters lost a little of their sparkle because of repetition.
For example, one of Raymond’s quirks concerns facial expressions: as a metal automaton, he does not possess a mobile face, of course, so from the very beginning of the novel we are told that all of his facial reactions happen on the inside – the first few times this information makes you smile, as do the offered similitudes for his attempts at a laugh or a cough or any human noise, but after a while and after reading about it a few times too much, the smile slowly fades and is supplanted by mild irritation.  The same goes for Ada puffing on cigarettes or the other behavioral traits she fakes when she wants to sound human. For me, these details are like a nice joke: once or twice it’s ok, but by the n-th time one hears it, it has lost its charm…

Another disappointing element came from the antagonists: even though I understand this story is modeled on period movies and books, I did not like the fact that the chief villain tends to laugh wickedly as he lays down his plans to a captive Raymond: I always wondered why the bad guys have this burning need to explain in full details their dastardly plots to a soon-to-be-killed prisoner. Need for recognition? Childhood traumas? Whatever it is, it always sounded phony to my ears, and here we have that in spades, mixed with that same villain’s endless laugh as he contemplates the upcoming success of world domination.

While I understand these are nothing more than personal pet peeves, I’m sorry that they detracted a little from the enjoyment of this unconventional and amusing book, that nonetheless was a very welcome change from my usual fare and is definitely worth a try.

My Rating:

 

A new post for the 2016 Sci-Fi Experience, an event hosted by Carl  V. Anderson over at Stainless Steel Droppings (follow the links to know more!)

Review: CAPTAIN QUASAR AND THE SPACE-TIME DISPLACEMENT CONUNDRUM, by Milo James Fowler

I received this book from the author, in exchange for an honest review.

There is a movie I re-watch regularly when I’m in the mood for some light-hearted humor, and it’s Galaxy Quest: a fun trip through some of the tropes of televised science fiction, and one that never fails to make me laugh for the perfect balance of annoyance and affection that those tropes entail.  Captain Quasar and the Space-Time Displacement Conundrum is indeed the equivalent of that movie, and for me it represented an amusing interlude between more ‘serious’ books, the necessary change of pace every reader needs now and then.

The novel follows the bizarre adventures of the titular Captain Quasar and the crew of his ship, the Effervescent Magnitude, clearly modeled on its iconic television counterpart: Quasar finds himself swinging wildly between past and present after an accident with an outlandish new engine that has destroyed vessel and crew only to have them reappear, five hundred years later, through a black hole.  Don’t look for logical narrative progression in this story, or for scientific plausibility, because that’s not the point of it all: the goal here is to poke some fun at the genre’s most used clichés, with a kindly mischievous eye. The best way to appreciate it all is to sit back and enjoy the ride…

And indeed it is a Helzapoppin-style trip, where we encounter two and a half meter tall Amazonian warriors from a society where men are enslaved and treated like chattel, only to witness one of them fall head over heels for the intrepid captain and his far-too-often mentioned bulging muscles, gleaming teeth and perfect hair; or face formless globs of gelatinous matter intent on exacting a toll from the Magnitude as it passes through their area of space; or spider-like bounty hunters who can double as space pirates and so on. There’s even the required god-like being only Quasar can see, since he’s embedded in the captain’s consciousness – or rather in his sinuses, after having inhaled the quartz dust on the planet where the ancient creature dwells. See what I mean?

Quasar himself is the incarnation of all those square-jawed, intrepid heroes from the screen, but with a substantial difference: on TV we see only the outward “shell” of those characters, we observe their heroic efforts and bold endeavors, not to mention their romantic interludes, while here we are privy to the captain’s inner thoughts, and they somewhat tarnish the picture. Captain Bartholomew Quasar is as self-centered and selfish as they come, graced with a high degree of self-esteem (“They may not have been as good looking as me or some of you […]”) and the required attitude toward women we have come to expect from this kind of “hero”, and yet he manages to instill a form of amused sympathy in the reader, who ends up rooting for him – not despite his massive shortcomings, but because of them.

The only overt redeeming quality Quasar possesses is his affection for helmsman Hank, a furry, four-armed alien (it took me a few instances to connect his shaggy appearance with the name of his planet of origin, Carpethria, but I finally did…) who is the only constant fixture in the captain’s peregrinations through time, together with the god-like alien Steve, old, bearded and leaning on a wooden staff. These two characters represent the one constant element in the narrative arc: Hank on one side, providing Quasar with something akin to firm ground, and Steve on the other, acting as a sort of conscience for the intrepid captain – provided he does have one, a topic on which the jury is still out…

Add to the mix the amorous Amazon Asteria (a sight that can make even the boldest captain quake in his boots) and a series of equally bizarre characters, and you obtain an outlandish mix that will carry you into the depths of unknown space – and time – at a breakneck pace, helped by the very short chapters that jump from one weird adventure to the next in quick succession.

If you’re looking for some light fun, you need look no further…

 

My Rating:

 

After some time, I’m back with an offering for the 2016 Sci-Fi Experience, an event hosted by Carl  V. Anderson over at Stainless Steel Droppings (follow the links to know more!) and running until January 31st.